The Sign Ordinance: A Literary Classic

I received a phone call from Indiana today. Melanie, representing a sign manufacturer, phoned to request Borough requirements for a sign. The first question I asked was, "What type of sign are you talking about? A free-standing, billboard, marquee, wall-attached, awning, address, contractor, real estate, home occupation, individual letters or symbols, political, projecting, or temporary sign?" She laughed. "How about some basic regs for all signs?", she asked. Easy enough to ask for, but so difficult to answer.

Signs. They are everywhere. Local governments try to regulate them in all different sorts of ways. Some regulate by type, by height, with setbacks, with illumination standards, by content, by obstructions, and by zones. If you live in a town, borough, village, or city, it is likely your community has one of these ordinances. Go read it. Then go read a classic like Aristophanes' Lysistrata . We will all agree. Both are Greek. Only one is properly translated.

I peppered Melanie with a variety of different rules, requirements, and whatevers and we ended our phone call in good spirits. Imagine her plight! I only have to deal with one exasperatingly opaque sign ordinance. She has to maneuver her way through dozens, maybe hundreds of sign requirements from all over the country. I'm liking my job a little better today.

Our phone call jangled my curiosity bone and I went a-googling. I found an extensively researched and somewhat dryly written essay on Constitutional law and Sign Ordinances (pdf file). Our Supreme Court has had a few things to say about the troublesome tyranny of restrictive sign ordinances. Something about free speech, 1st amendment rights, and liability for past damages. Nothing big really- unless you're the poor soul who is enforcing the libelous law.
I had better take another look at that ordinance of ours. I may want to place a sign on my lawn that says, "Please Change Your Sign Ordinance So I can Take This Down."