Bring in the Circus Animals!

I stopped writing posts about daily life as a zoning officer when an obsessive and intense citizen had an altercation with his neighbor and couldn't "wait to read what you are going write about this."  I don't think he would have liked my telling of the story.  I thought I saw a lawyer peeking out from under his skirt.

But time has passed and many interesting stories have crossed my desk in the past 6 months that deserve telling- though none are quite as fascinating as the exotic animal pet story.  Let me explain:

It was late Spring 2008 and I was sitting at my desk, doing the usual tasks- trying to decide where to file papers without having to retrieve the actual property files.  If paperwork was water, I would have drowned 2 years ago.

The phone rang.  "Hello, zoning office, how may I help you?", said me, the zoning officer.

The woman's voice was young and slightly nasal, with a hint of Long Isand, "Excuse me, I was wonderingggg.  Do I need a permit to keep a lion in my home?"

A moment of silence passed.  "Did you mean a LION lion, an African lion, of Born Free and Daktari?"  I asked, not quite believing what I had just heard.

"Yes," she replied, "A real lion, like in the zoo. I called the Game Commission and they told me that I could have one, as long as there isn't a local law against it."

I told her I would have to research our ordinances.  In the past 125 years, our town fathers would have grappled with this issue, right?  I imagined a Town meeting from yesteryear.  Our forefathers were gathered around the grand oak table, discussing side yard setbacks, easements, building coverage, and use definitions when Jay Smith, Senior Councilman spoke.  "What if someone wants to own a lion, tiger or bear?"  "Oh my." replied another. Everyone laughed.

After much research, I did find an ordinance from 1934 that outlawed pot-bellied pigs. I called the long island lady back.  " We have no ordinance that prohibits you from owning an African lion.  But don't even think about owning a pig."

I then discussed the lion phone call with our town manager.  We decided we had better recommend a new local law that prohibited ownership of exotic animals.  We didn't want people walking their tigers down Market Street.  Bad for business, we thought.

The town council jumped right on it, sending our proposed law  (lifted from another community) to their workshop committee. A year passed. I forgot about lions, tigers, and bears. Finally, the ordinance bolted out of the committee (one year is fast for government). It was all ready to be advertised for a public hearing and vote. Then the press showed up.

It started out simple enough. A reporter called and asked a few questions. He explained it was more of a feature story than a news story. It would probably run on a Saturday or Monday edition, page 13 and all that. But his editors had a different idea.  They wanted more.

The story was published on the front page of the Sunday paper.  Top story. They even included a cute quiz. There were 4 pictures: a back bear, a timber rattlesnake, an African lion, and a pot-bellied pig.  The quiz question was: Which one of these animals is not allowed in the Borough?

But the article went further than quizzes and humorous quotes. A spokesman for the Game Commission stated that, if there wasnt a local law prohibiting lions and other exotic animals, the Commission's permit fee is $5.00.  That's right, for 5 bucks you can get a permit in Pennsylvania to own a lion, tiger, or bear.

The article also highlighted a section of the proposed law that would limit domestic pet ownership to a maximum of three (3) animals.  That riled up the town's many pet owners and a few showed up at the next meeting to complain.  One person stood up and asked, "if my cat has 5 kittens, do I have to flush 3 of them down the toilet to comply with your law?"  The ordinance was tabled and referred back to committee.

A few months later, I received an office visit from a very nice businessman. As we shook hands, he said, "Hi, I own the pet shop in the next town and I would like to move my business to your Borough."